It is not original to point out the ridicule that one can engender by basing a marketing strategy around the world cup. In fact Private Eye has pointed out the curse of tying oneself to major sporting events such as these for years. Michael Owen's knee knack and Brazil's spectacular failure to live up to 'Joga Bonito' being two of the last competition's finest. This year though has perhaps been the toughest competition in years. Here are a few of the best, or worst marketing failures of 2010.
Carlsberg, If Carlsberg gave team talks...: Aside from the fact that if Carlsberg gave teamtalks they'd be in Danish (or rather they would be silent bubbles of carbon dioxide given that Carlsberg is a beer and as such incapable of speech.) this ad manages to be cringe worthy and in poor taste at the same time. First of all there is the dubious ethics of invoking the dead Sir Bobby Robson and a ghostly Bobby Moore in order to sell beer, a strategy one can only hope they repeat when Thatcher dies, sparking an 'if Carlsberg made destroyers of Britain's manufacturing base...' tagline. Secondly a teamtalk given by a collecion of British champions in minority sports... and Ian Botham. Is not one likely to tactically outwit a slug, let alone the likes of Marcelo Biesla and his contemporaries. Although it is rather apt considering 'our boys' have played like drunken sailors so far.
Anything associated with FIFA: Millions are spent by various companies in the run up to WCs in order to become 'the official FIFA World Cup (tm)' tampon or spreadable cheese or toilet cleaner. How many people buy their domestic products on the basis of Sepp Blatter's advice is dubious in the first place, but this wheeze has been arguably made a little toxic by FIFA's hijacking of South African law for corporate purposes. Meaning that those caught selling anything other than McDonalds', Gillette, Budweiser or other FIFA endorsed products in certain designated areas faces jail or a fine. Not good PR when the victims of this policy so far have been impoverished Africans and 30 Dutch women in miniskirts.
Nike, Write the Future: Nike adverts are always the lavish setpiece ads of any World Cup, beautifully put together, containing all the stars and often containing what passes for wit amongst sportswear manufacturers. However the ad urging it's participants to 'Write the Future' through their brilliant play (in Nike boots of course) has been one magnificent curses in sporting history, even by Nike standards. (Their 98 campaign centred around a Brazil team which descended into farce around Nike's golden boy Ronaldo and 2006's Joga Bonito Brazil were anything but.) The fortunes of those featured is as follows:
Ronaldinho: Not selected for tournament
Wayne Rooney: Currently playing like his useless ginger bearded alter ego from the advert in an abject England side.
Franck Ribery: Threatening to go on strike in a French side in turmoil.
Fabio Cannavaro: Last seen blaming anyone but himself for Italy's dismal draw with New Zeland.
Cristiano Ronaldo: Fared okay by others standards but has looked average, petulant and far from the movie material the ad would like us to believe.
Didier Drogba: Playing in a Cote D'Ivoire side going out of the tournament with a broken arm.
Roger Federer: Almost lost to a player ranked outside the world's top50 at wimbledon 2010.
ITV: This is a special mention, first for their HD England goal gaffe, which may have stressed jazzed up telly execs a little blue in the face, second for their pundit Robbie Earle being involved in aformentioned mini skirted women scandal, third for their sponsor Hyundai's advert being a parody of their commentary teams inadequacies and lastly for the inexplicable horror (my eyes! My ears! My sense of human progress!) that is James Corden.
Mars: Forgetting a huge reason for football fans' love of the 1990 England World Cup song World in Motion is that it represents a more innocent time when footballers didn't flog chocolate bars Mars have enlisted the now ludicrously overweight John Barnes to reprise his rap for a chocolate bar. I think they may have paid him in them.
Special mentions: Kitkat's 'fingers crossed' campaign, released when England fans are far more likely to be using their fingers to signal different things to their team, the Adidas Jabulani, Betting companies for encouraging morons to give us the kind of tips that make you realise that this gambling lark is a tax on the stupid who think they know about football.
Treble (Carlsbergs) all round!
Monday 21 June 2010
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