10 ways to confuse a Tory

1. Explain what the song 'Eton Rifles' is about.

2. Telll them that America's shit, and yet their ideas go completely against the idea that taxation should have representation.

3. Shirley Porter

4. Describe cricket as an inherently socialist game.

5. Ask them to watch 'The Wire'

6. Tell them to inspect the Swedish School system

7. Have a Lib dem leader leader who isn't shagging rentboys, an alcoholic or vaguely coherent.

8. Tell them you're a Wallpaper magnate and an SWP member.

9. Explain Daniel Hannan's political philosophy

10. Vote Blue Go Green.

I Think I'm In Love With Victoria Coren

Upon viewing her byline picture or an image in a long forgotten profile one cannot forget that beautiful smirk, that expression that tells you that it wouldn't just be beneath her intellect and compassion to put you down (even though you're someone who reads newspapers on a Sunday on the internet.) but that she just wouldn't be all that bothered, she's the sort of woman who'd charm the violent stalking type into baking fairy cakes. Having hardly ever seen her moving, let alone in three dimensions, it was interesting to watch C. Brookers channel 4 show, (which is rubbish for him but which i can't help thinking is charity towards TV) she is as undeniably exquisite as i could imagine, making even the gorgeously infectiously funny Josie Long seem like a Gorgon to her Penelope. Before you take out a restraining order Ms Coren, please just keep being wonderful. (PS a bit of that 500,000 would really come in handy.)

I would never describe myself as a harmanista, I think she's incompetent slightly rubbish and even those policies that anyone can see aim to solve genuine problems are about as well managed as most of us manage to attack wasps in pub gardens. I mean honestly how can anyone be ridiculed for trying to stop rape? However amongst the nonsense there is a genuine desire and vocation to achieve something, women have a crap bloody deal in our society and it's not really acceptable, however unartful imposition and positive discrimination only ever engenders resentment. I do agree that there is a role for government in legislating, but please leave us our freedom to be rubbish ourselves and for God's sake if you cared more about feminism or Labour values than your own role in it then please fuck off